When performing the countdown, you can’t be wishy-washy about it and squeak out the numbers. (Hell, that would make me laugh more than anything) Nope, you have to holler those numbers out like it’s a self destruct sequence bellowing from a loud speaker in a chemical weapons facility.
5-4-3-2-1…BOOM!!
It also helps to start using the countdown at an early age. That way, you’ve built up a Pavlovian conditioning with the kids. When I do it, my kids franticly scramble around, banging into each other and they think the world is coming to an end. It may sound harsh but it works…Every time.
Growing up, my Mom did most of the disciplining and with three boys running riot, she got quite good at it. A solid spank on the arse was my Mom’s weapon of choice but the truth is, Mom lacked the upper body strength to do any real damage so it was a pretty cushy punishment. We DID cry however. We had to. If we didn’t cry, Mom would get even angrier and pass the punishment on to my Dad…and THAT was a different story.
My Dad was what I called “Team Omega Strike”. He was the last line of defense in our house. The key to survival was keeping below Dad’s radar. We could pretty much do what we wanted as long as we didn’t go so far as to frustrate Mom into tears. Once that happened, well let’s just say, my Dad had plenty of upper body strength. Not to mention a huge WWE Championship style belt around his waist. Why would they make belts that big back then?! Bastards!
Don’t get me wrong, my Dad rarely spanked us. He didn’t have too. Just the threat of it scared the hell out of us. If we ever got too cocky with the old man, he would just lean back in his chair and tap his belt buckle and we would run for the goddamn hills.
Now THAT’S Pavlovian conditioning!
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